ACT ONE

In a football stadium, a Referee and his 2 assistants introduce the show in mock-Shakespearean declamatory verse about football. The Chorus and Cheer-leaders then sing the opening song “SCORE!”, A TV interviewer then chats to Vincent Leonard, the English manager, and Don Pedro, the Italian manager, about the forthcoming pre-season friendly between the 2 sides. It is an ongoing arrangement whereby the teams visit each other alternately for a pre-season fixture. The Chorus and Cheer-Leaders finish the Prologue with a short reprise of “SCORE!”

In the English team’s board room the manager and his coach, Maurice, are discussing injuries to the team when Hero, Vincent’s daughter and his niece Beatrice enter. The discussion turns to the Italian striker Benedick, in his last season, whom Beatrice loathes – mainly because he dumped her a couple of years back, whereas Hero’s interest centres exclusively on Claudio, the Italian’s new Brazilian striker who is as gorgeous as he is brilliant at the game, and who is a special chum of Benedick. The 4 – with Chorus/Choir interjections sing “THE LOVE BUG”

Don Pedro enters with Benedick and Claudio. Claudio is immediately smitten by Hero, and all except Beatrice & Benedick leave for refreshments. Left together the 2 former lovers immediately spat, and Beatrice leaves, unable to stand him a moment longer. Claudio and Don Pedro return and Claudio confesses to being in love with Hero. Benedick pities him, for he prefers to “play the field” as far as women are concerned. Song: “HAPPY THE WAY I AM”

Claudio is unused to English girls and doesn’t know how to set about wooing her, so Don Pedro comes up with a plan to lay the ground for him, by talking to her at a masked ball that evening, at the mansion of one of the English side’s star players and his wife, Damien and Virginia Peckham, better known as Swish and Pecks. They leave and Vincent and his sister Antonia enter. She has overheard how Claudio is in love with Beatrice, and means to bring it up at the party. Vincent is pleased and will prepare the ground with Hero.

Back in the football stadium the TV interviewer chats with Swish & Pecks. When they leave, the grouchy and grumpy Don John and his daughter Conchita appear, Don John is Pedro’s brother and had hoped to be manager, but his brother had given him the humble position of Assistant Scout. Is it any wonder that he is Song: “BITTER AND TWISTED” and would do anything to bring Pedro down.

Borachio enters, He is an Italian midfielder that has been displaced by Claudio, so has his own agenda for wanting revenge. He reveals that he’s heard on the grapevine that Claudio plans to marry Hero. Don John sees this as a possible means for causing trouble. Short Reprise: “BITTER AND TWISTED”

At the party, all the men are masked. Benedick approaches Beatrice, who, not recognizing him, rants on about her dislike of Benedick. The band is then introduced by Pecks. It is a Country’n’Western outfit called Dogberry and the Swamphounds, Dogberry being the leader. Song and Line Dance: “EVERYBODY GOTTA DANCE”

All exit, except Don John, Borachio & Claudio. The two work their mischief on Claudio by suggesting that Pedro fancies Hero himself, and instead of pleading on Claudio’s behalf will declare his love for her. They suggest he [Claudio, still disguised] try to stop it – and not to mention in to Claudio! They leave, and Claudio takes off his mask, upset, especially as his manager seems to be double-crossing him. But he vows not to be put down by it. Song: “THE SUN WILL SHINE” [which ends like a football anthem, with the Chorus/Choir waving team scarves above their heads]

But Claudio’s grief turns to joy, when the mistake [as they think] is rectifies and the marriage is agreed. Beatrice, who has a ready wit, and uses it, explains that she was born under a Song: “DANCING STAR”. She leaves and Pedro plots with Vincent & Claudio to devise a scheme to make Beatrice and Benedick fall in love with each other.

Everyone reassembles for the announcement of Claudio and Hero’s engagement, in celebration of which there is a reprise of “EVERYBODY GOTTA DANCE”

All leave except Don John, Conchita and Borachio, who are seething about the engagement. They formulate a plan to make it all go wrong, by disguising Conchita as Hero, and getting her to invite Borachio in to her room on the eve of her wedding, while Claudio observes unseen.

In a Rose Arbour Benedick bewails the fate of his best friend – lost to a woman, despite the training he had given him! Song: “SIGH NO MORE, LADIES” He hears Pedro, Claudio and Vincent approach, and hides. They plant the plot they’d hatched. They converse in loud tones about how Beatrice is secretly madly in love with Benedick, but not to let Benedick know as he is unworthy of her. They leave. Beatrice enters, and the same trick is played on her by Hero and her friend Ursula. Hero and Ursula leave, and Beatrice is overwhelmed by the news. Benedick appears, and they sing a separated duet, with Claudio and Hero joining during the course of it. Song: “SOMEONE LIKE ME”

Back at the stadium the TV interviewer chats to both managers, then Pecks, Benedick and Claudio. He/she asks Claudio about how he gets his magic footballing skills. He explains

Song: “THE BRAZILIAN SAMBA” [for all]

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

In the stadium the Referee and his Assistants again start proceedings with mock-Shakesperean pentameters about football, before setting an actual game in motion. Song: GIVE IT YOUR ALL [for all] All leave except Pedro, Claudio & Don John. John –with false regret – tells them that Hero is unfaithful, and if they come to her window tonight, they will find the proof.

On the balcony of Hero’s flat, Conchita & Borachio plan the deception. Despite the odd hiccup, it works. Claudio sees Conchita, disguised as Hero, invite Borachio into her room. Claudio is gutted, and Pedro too.

In the Wedding Chapel Dogberry leads the company in singing Song: “YOUR HALLOWED GOAL” [a Country’n’Western “hymn” with football connotations!] The wedding party enters. The ceremony starts, but Claudio rejects Hero, and walks out, together with the other Italians, except Benedick. Hero faints at the moment of rejection, then comes round to sing a sad ballad Song “ANOTHER YOU” Then the Parson comes up with an idea – let it be known that Hero died of a heart attack. This will prick Claudio’s conscience and maybe he will be moved to find out the real truth. All leave, except Beatrice & Benedick, who reluctantly admit their love for one another. Song: “LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP” Beatrice then insists that Benedick kill Claudio – or at the very least make a hospital tackle on him. Benedick refuses, but agrees to confront Claudio. They leave to a short Chorus/Choir reprise of “LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP”

In the Board Room Antonia, Vincent and Maurice the coach are stressed out – even more so when Pedro and Claudio enter. The 4 men soon engage in a “fight” – more shadow-boxing fisticuffs than actual blows – which Benedick puts a stop to as he enters, and challenges Claudio to a dual in the car park, rows O and K [like OK Corral!] Song: “HIGH NOON” [in the style of a Western] Benedick leaves, after telling them that Don John has taken a hasty flight back to Italy. They are all puzzled till Dogberry and the Swamphounds enter, with a firm hold on Borachio [who has a black eye, and an arm in a sling] and Conchita. The whole story comes out. Claudio is heartbroken and penitent, and promises to do anything Vincent may require of him in penitence. Vincent tells him to go to the chapel tomorrow morning, where, though he cannot marry his daughter, he can marry his niece, Antonia’s daughter – which is news to Antonia as she has no daughter. Claudio agrees, and stays when all leave to sing, heartbrokenly, Reprise: “ANOTHER YOU”

After a brief scene in a hotel lobby, where Benedick is trying to compose love poems to Beatrice, Beatrice enters, then they are summoned to the Chapel, as all has been revealed.

In the final Chapel scene, Claudio glumly awaits his bride – not knowing whether she be young, ols, pretty or ugly. The Parson is persuaded to conduct two marriages at the same time.

Beatrice & Hero enter, veiled. When Hero lifts her veil, Claudio is overjoyed, and Benedick is only to pleased to take his place beside Beatrice.

Finale: “MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING”

After the bows:- Optional Reprise: “EVERYBODY GOTTA DANCE”