Act One
The Zombies and Vampires, in the Underworld, sing the Opening Chorus Song: “STAYIN’ UNDEAD” The Narrators describe their lives and conditions by the Narrators, and how happy they were till one day a television made its way into their world and showed them what the world outside was like. The Zombies and Vampires then express their discontent, and express their desire to have fun like the humans. They want to leave, so they summon their master, who has been asleep for over a hundred years. Count Dracula appears. Song: “THE MASTER” He hears their rumbles of discontent, but the problem would be their mingling with the humans without being noticed. He calls on The Queen of the Night to help solve the problem. Song: “QUEEN OF THE NIGHT” The Queen finds the solution – she and Dracula must get together a cult Rock Group whose followers would look so bizarre, the Zombies & Vampires would blend in un-noticed.
But their underground home cannot be left unattended, so Zazu, a shy Canadian zombie, volunteers to be housekeeper, and Vladmimir, a proud Russian vampire, volunteers to be caretaker. So, everything is decided and they’re all ready to rock’n’roll. Song: “EVERYBODY GOTTA ROCK”
The Narrators introduce the next element, and in a street in Dewberry we meet the Police team, led by Inspector Shirley Holmes Song: “WALKIN’ THE BEAT”. They leave Holmes to consult with the entering Dr.Watson, as pathologist. He is baffled by an outbreak of strange symptoms among local teenage girls, and Holmes realizes they’ve been attacked by – a vampire!
The Narrators then introduce us to Professor Moriarty’s Laboratory, where the housekeeper, Mrs.Petersen, is tidying up, with the help of the handyman, Quasimodo. [The Hunchback of Notre Dame!] Moriarty enters, followed by his criminal gang, who present a splendid set of monthly accounts from crime. The Professor then reveals his latest masterpiece – the invention of a potion [which he calls J & H, after Jekyll and Hyde] which completely reverses a person’s character. He intends to use it on his arch adversaries, Holmes & Watson. Song: “WE WILL ROB YOU”
The Narrators take us outside the Dewberry Assembly Rooms, where Holmes and Watson are studying a poster for the launch of a new Rock group, called The Dracula Rock Show. Holmes suspects a connection with the vampirism, but just then Moriarty enters, with false beard & glasses, disguised as a street vendor. He has a tray with drinks on it. He lets them see through his disguise, then challenges them to another battle of good v. evil. They can keep the drinks as a celebration. He leaves and Holmes and Watson raise the glasses to their lips…BLACKOUT.
The Narrators then take us inside the Assembly Rooms, where a crowd is gathering. Teenagers mix with Zombies and Vampires, with, as forecast, no re-action. Moriarty and all his criminals enter for the concert, then Dracula and The Queen of the Night introduce the first act – The Blood Sisters. Song: “WHO NEEDS LOVE?”
Enter Holmes & Watson, who, suspicious of Moriarty’s drinks, had stopped the pair from drinking them and sent them for analysis. Watson doesn’t think this kind of concert would appeal to Holmes, but she reveals the only thing she can’t stand is Country’n’Western. The main act, Jagged Mick, then comes on. Song: “HONKY-TONK LOVER"
END OF Act One
Act Two
Song: “THE FROG MARCH” [Police & criminals who exit after] Holmes and Watson find that clusters of anaemia cases break out wherever the Dracula Rock Show is playing. Also results of the drink analysis show its powers, so Holmes resolves to use them against Moriarty and his gang. The Narrators then take us over to Vladimir & Zazu, down in the Underworld. Vladimir is doing his best to be friendly, but Zazu is so shy, she rejects his advances. Song: “WHEN YOU’RE SHY”
The Narrators take us back to Dracula on tour. Reprise: “THE MASTER” The Queen of the Night and the rock acts come on. They are fed up and in a state of revolt. Their music has become less rock and more Abba-tribute, thanks to the Queen’s input. Song: “THE DRACULA ROCK SHOW”. Mick and The Blood Sisters walk out.
The Narrators take us back to Moriarty’s, where the Professor reveals his plans to his gang. With Holmes, Watson and the police squad having reversed their characters thanks to the J & H potion, with their cooperation they will rob every bank in Dewberry simultaneously. A criminal asks how will they know if Holmes and her squad have changed – he replies that if they love Country’n’Western, that is the proof. Enter Holmes, Watson & the squad, singin Country’n’Western Song: “SO MUCH GOOD”
Moriarty reveals his plan to Holmes, who gets Watson to break out the champagne in celebration. The criminals drink it. It is, of course, the J & H potion, and they all reverse characters to become law-abiding citizens. Reprise: “SO MUCH GOOD”
The Narrators take us back to Dracula where he is pondering how to break the bad news to his followers, when they enter, and pronounce themselves fed up with human society and life on the surface. It’s decided they’ll have the odd trappings of surface civilization sent down to them, but they all want to go home. Song: “GOING HOME”
But what of home? The Narrators introduce us again to Vladimir and Zazu. Under Vladimir’s patient guidance, Zazu has come out of her shell, and romance begins to flourish. Song: “THE WAY YOU ARE”
Dracula, meanwhile, makes his way back to his chamber, followed by Inspector Holmes. When she tries to arrest him, his superior strength gets the better of her, and he chains her to the wall. Song: “THE DEWBERRY BILL” He is just about to sink his fangs into her neck, when Doctor Watson appears. Dracula scoffs at any conventional attempts to stop him, but is unprepared for Watson playing a CD of Cliff Richard, which brings Dracula to his knees. Watson releases Holmes and offers Dracula the choice of listening to Cliff Richard for all eternity, or drinking the J & H potion. Dracula drinks the potion, and is made harmless.
Finally the Narrators return us Underground, where the returning Vampires & Zombies greet Vladimir & Zazu, then celebrate all their lack of brains. Song: “BRAINS!” The show is then wrapped up, as everybody reveals their new self or situation as they take their bow[s] Finally, Holmes and Watson introduce Finale: Reprise – “EVERYBODY GOTTA ROCK”
THE END
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