Gladis Baker, Gladiator

Scene One - Aggregia's Bakery

Orphan Gladis Farina works in a bakery in Ancient Rome owned by her greedy aunt and uncle, Caustica and Billius Gluttus. Gladis is well known for her delicious bakes, but along with her brother Precarious, is treated like a slave.

The show opens very early in the morning, where Gladis has already made her bread and cakes for the day and is out in her local neighbourhood selling them. She sings I'm On A Roll, and gradually other people in the neighbourhood arrive, buy her bread and join in the song. Gladis gives a loaf of bread to an old lady who can't afford Agreggia's prices and as the song ends, Gladis is scolded by her aunt for giving away free bread. Gladis argues with her aunt, ashamed of the prices the bakery charges. Billius supports Caustica and proceeds to eat many of the cakes on display whilst they are arguing, including a special order for the Cafe Chino. He leaves, taking some money from the takings to get a snack somewhere else. Precarious arrives and mimics Caustica behind her back before being chased off stage by her.

Scene Two - The Emperor's Palace

Pompous Maximus Caesar and his wife Media Influencer, recline on couches eating delicacies. They are entertained by the court poet Ninnius who recites two really bad limericks. A merchant arrives with a range of products for Media to try, and the court scribe Helvetica is called for as Media wishes to update her blog. She dictates her descriptions to Helvetica then asks him to draw her selfie. Helvetica is ordered to post Media's blog in the forum so all her followers can read it. Media sings her song Celebrated.

The Military Commander Getta Agrippa and Senator Serious Strictus enter to inform Pompous that there is trouble on the streets and that the mob have been rioting because they are hungry; he thinks some bakers may be overcharging for the bread. Media insists that the Emperor's image must be not be tarnished and suggests an event to keep the people happy whilst they investigate the problem of the bread. After some discussion, they decide on a baking competition to be held in the Colosseum.

The Emperor wants to ensure this is the right decision and calls for his Imperial Augur, Hennius Peck, Keeper of the Sacred Chickens. Hennius sings It Depends On The Hens and announces that the Gods look favourably on the contest, and so the First Great Roman Bake Off should go ahead.

Scene Three - Cafe Chino

Marcus, Gladis's best friend, is serving customers at the Cafe Chino, when Billius arrives, demanding food. The customers complain about Billius and Caustica and through their gossip we learn a bit more about Gladis and the sympathy the community has for her.

Gladis arrives apologising for the late arrival of Marcus's order explaining that Billius had eaten the earlier one, so she had had to start again. Marcus can see that Gladis is really tired and fed up with the way she is treated by her aunt and uncle. He sings Cafe Chino accompanied by the customers, to cheer her up.

At the end of the song Precarious rushes in, trying to hide from Caustica as he is in trouble for apparently stealing money from the takings. Billius grabs him just as Caustica arrives in a litter. Caustica confronts Precarious but Gladis defends him. It transpires that Billius had taken the money, before going out for his snack. Without apologising, Caustica returns to her litter, accompanied by Billius to the horror of the litter bearers and a comic scene ensues as the litter travels off without its heavy occupants.

Scene Four - The Colosseum Committee

In this comic scene, the Director of the Colosseum Eventus Arrangeous, holds a meeting with his staff and representatives from the Imperial Palace to plan the Bake Off. The Colosseum staff are horrified to discover that no wild animals and only one Gladiator with a wooden sword will be needed.

Scene Five - Some Kind of Destiny

Back at Agreggias, Precarious and Marcus rush in to tell Gladis that a Great Roman Bake Off is to be held at the Colosseum. They urge Gladis to enter, particularly as there is a lot of prize money, but she believes that Caustica would never allow it. Two customers enter, excitedly discussing the news when Caustica enters and is furious to hear people encouraging Gladis to enter. Caustica banishes the customers from her shop and lectures Gladis on her selfishness, whilst Precarious and Marcus secretly select different samples of Gladiss bakes behind Caustica's back. They send the bakes off to the Palace for the preliminary taste-test round. Gladis sings Some Kind Of Destiny, and resolves to defy Caustica.

Scene Six - The Taste Test

Media finishes off the taste test for the Bake Off with a few final entries. After enduring some more bad limericks from Ninnius, Media tastes a basket of delicious bakes and discovers that they were baked by Gladis Farina. She instructs Helvetica to announce the finalists in the forum.

Scene Seven - The Signature Round

The Bake Off begins in the Colosseum. Pompous and Media are the judges and they enter to a fanfare and cheering spectators. Hilarious Toga and Comedius Chuckle, the Bake-Off comperes, introduce the competition and sing in ensemble Flour is Power; the five competitors are introduced in the song then the Signature Round begins. The bakers are asked to make a giant biscuit, which they prepare on their tables as Hilarious and Comedius circulate, fooling about. The biscuits are judged by Pompous and Media, and Chia Batta is eliminated. A Gladiator chases her off stage as the spectators chant 'Another one bites the crust'.

The scene ends with a brief advert from the Bake Off's sponsor - Kitty's Litters.

Scene Eight - The Technical Round

The bakers are asked to make a cheesecake for this round. Whilst they are baking, a troupe of samba dancers enter, singing and dancing their way through The Kitchen Conga with bowls and wooden spoons for percussion. At the end of the song the bakers join the conga line with their cheesecakes which Pompous and Media judge as they dance past them. Harold is eliminated in this round and exits as before chased by a gladiator, the crowd chanting 'Another one bites the crust'.

Scene Nine - The Showstopper

Gladis is through to the final three. In a dramatic build up with Top Gun- esque music, the final three, wearing aviator glasses, enter in slow motion. They are told that the ingredients for the final round are in a pile in the middle of a table, and that they must race to get what they need within a short time limit. As the whistle blows to start, Caustica appears out of the spectators and holds Gladis back so that she can't get at the ingredients. The other two competitors, Filo and Una, grab most of the ingredients leaving Gladis ( once she has freed herself from Caustica) just flour, water and sourdough starter. The bakers begin their creations. Filo makes an elaborate pastry image of the Emperor, Una makes a large cornet filled with different gelato, but Gladis can only make bread as she has so few ingredients. The comperes tease her a bit and predict a bleak outcome for Gladis.

Pompous and Media arrive for the final judging, but the head falls off Filo's pastry emperor, causing superstitious concern amongst the crowd. Hennius Peck and the Sacred Chickens are called for again, to consult the gods, and he reprieves It Depends On The Hens. Hennius tells the spectators off for being so superstitious, and the judging resumes. Unfortunately, by now, Una's cornet has melted and her showstopper is a disaster.

Pompous and Media move on to Gladis, unimpressed that she has only made bread. However, once they taste it they realise how delicious it is. Media is however, still doubtful, as there was no spectacle in the bake. Strictus the senator reminds the Emperor that the whole purpose of the Bake Off was to please the people, and Pompous puts the final vote to the spectators who vote for Gladis.

As Gladis is crowned Imperial Baker, Billius rushes on pretending to be her loving Uncle and trying to get in on the act. He is quickly arrested by Agrippa who also has Caustica in custody for overcharging at the bakery and trying to disrupt the Bake Off. They are escorted out of the arena to 'Another One Bites The Crust'.

Gladis beckons Precarious and Marcus onto the stage with her and announces that she is going to open her own bakery with her best friend and brother. She will sell fairly priced, delicious bread, good enough for an emperor as much as the ordinary people.

The show ends with the final song, Bake It To Make It.

Speaking Roles By Number Of Lines

N.B. In the following list, the number shows how many SPOKEN lines each role has. An asterisk (*) before the characters name indicates that this character ALSO has solo or featured sung lines.

Non-speaking roles: Sacred Chickens x 3, Fruit Seller/Samba Dancer x 2, Old Lady/Samba Dancer, Servants (Palace and Cafe) x 2

Suggested Cast List For 30 Actors

N.B. In the following list, the number shows how many spoken lines each role has. An asterisk (*) before the characters name indicates that this character ALSO has solo or featured sung lines.

Non-speaking roles: Sacred Chickens x 3, Fruit Seller/Samba Dancer x 2, Old Lady/Samba Dancer, Servants (Palace and Cafe) x 2