Norsey or Nice?

Scene One - Yuletide

Magnus Red Nose, Lord of the Vikings, welcomes everyone to a Yuletide feast. The Vikings sing the Yuletide Song, bang their goblets on the tables, then honour their swords in a warrior fashion, with lots of noise and bravado. Magnus calls the Skald to entertain them with a tale of long ago.

The Skald introduces the story of Harald Bluetooth and his quest to conquer and own the lands of the north; different cast members come onto the stage to enact this. He then explains that all Harald's bravest warriors were busy conquering lands elsewhere, and so he had to scrape the bottom of the barrel with a motley crew of boatbuilders from the Tub of Trondheim. The crew enter and are horrified to discover their mission, telling Harald that they are useless sailors and don't like fighting. Harald insists they honour their swords and, in direct contrast to the Feasting Vikings, they make a comical, half-hearted show of it. Harald despairs of them. The Skald continues to add narrative description and opinion throughout the action of the show with as much drama and mystery as he can muster.

Scene Two - The Voyage

The crew enter ready for the voyage with armbands, flippers, rubber rings, seasick buckets etc. Harald calls them wimps and tells them to get on with their mission. As they set sail, the shipping forecast warns of terrible weather. The Vikings sing the Seasick Song, accompanied by weather symbols as the conditions get worse.

Scene Three - The Kingdom of Claws

The crew are shipwrecked and drag themselves onto the shore of an unknown land. In shock, they discover pieces of a broken sign on the beach which say: "you'd better watch out", "you'd better not cry", "he knows if you've been good or bad", and "Santa Claus is coming". They are convinced that it is a warning about the Great Claws and are terrified when they hear two reindeer coming towards them, thinking it is the great god Odin's eight-legged horse, Sleipnir. A comical dialogue ensues and the crew eventually learn that they have landed in Santaland.

Scene Four - Honorary Elves

The crew are taken into the Christmas village and are co-opted into helping on the toy production line. They sing with the elves the Honorary Elf Song. The crew find out that there is a Santa Claus and that he's compiling a Naughty List. Still thinking that Santa Claus is the scary Great Claws, they are told he wants a chat with the crew the next day. Because they were on a conquering mission sent by Harald Bluetooth, the crew are terrified that they may be in big trouble.

Dasher and Dancer, the reindeer who discovered the crew, bring Ollypops the elf the broken signs from the beach. Ollypops is pleased to have them back as he'd made the sign for a Christmas party sing-along and it had got broken in the storm.

Scene Five - The Naughty List

The crew get to work using their carpentry skills making toys for the elves and, after a comical scene about orders, try to find out from the elves what the Naughty List is. The elves are puzzled by the strange questions. Santa comes on stage and, with the elves, sings The Naughty List Song.

After the song, Santa is told that everything is ready for Christmas Eve, but he seems distracted trying to finish his Naughty List. The crew enter nervously and are introduced to Santa, who thanks them for their help with the toy production. He then holds up a Bluetooth flag that had been washed up in the storm and asks the crew what they were doing. Everything is explained, but the Skald over-does the drama and the Feasting Vikings, who have been listening to the story, accuse him of making things up. Getting back to the story, Santa is glad that the crew have been honest, but before he can make a decision about the Naughty List, Rudolph rushes in to say that they have a problem...

Scene Six - The Sleigh

Whilst doing her warm-up exercises before the flight, Prancer has slipped and put her hoof through the side of the sleigh and it is unable to fly. The elves are very troubled until Santa asks the crew to help. The crew use their skills to fix the sleigh and the elves ask if Santa will put the crew on the Naughty List. Santa says that they won't be on the Naughty List because they are not warrior Vikings, they are craftsmen and builders. Santa invites the crew to join him on the Christmas flight and stay forever in Santaland as Honorary Elves if they wish.

They all sing the finale Santaland Song, which tells the audience that the crew decide to stay. The Skald makes the most of this decision by relating a new legend about the crew and the winter solstice.